Not being in church physically has allowed me to go on disconnected. In a real sense, I did what my daily routine required of me, circling about my weekly school timetable. The past week had been 'test-driven' and what sounded the loudest was how much more I needed to catch up with my piling tutorials, revision and readings that now seem like a mouthful to digest.

Coming to church, more than just a physical act or religious piety, today has made me realise a few things :

1. My friends' needs, eg. their tiredness but still hanging on;

2. How much there is to pray about and for;

3. How my life has been so caught up with doing, meeting my expectations about school, trying to go for many different activities that I wonder where and when can I find time to take breather, slow down and be still.

It's not about doing, but finding rest in God through all that I do. It's like a concept but it would be like oxygen to my breathless soul, water to my quench within.

Help me to find my rest in You. You are the Prince of peace, my tower of refuge.

You are the hope that leads me on

To live unselfishly. That's something I struggle and work towards.

I'm encouraged to know that if I work at it in my own strength only, it will fail, whereas by God's grace, I can continue from where I have fallen.

This week we heard that knowing the truth sets us free and His truth is absolute. This sense of peace fills me, satuarates my being, to be able to unclench my fist into one that surrenders to, and wants from, the Father of all good gifts from above.

As I was on my way to sch earlier this morning, a thought struck me. Perhaps this love is about giving another the space to grow. Just like thete are many questions with no answers, that's when we need faith- for without faith, it is impossible to please Him. Does it mean that I'll no longer be affected or immune to feelings? I don't know, and like Billy Graham who faced his turning point dilemma, may it be Your truth that prevails and sets me free to know and love you with all of my heart and soul. Though I do not understand, I know You are with me and my life, my future is in Your hands. You are the Maker, the potter, and I am the clay. Help me to remember and live to know that You are my ultimate Master. To whom can I go? I want to be found in Your Presence, abiding in You as You live in me.

My soul rejoices because of You. In You I find joy and salvation. Rejoice in the Lord, again I say, rejoice, oh my soul!

Praise be to God forever and ever. Amen.

Hallelujah

What can I do with my life? What can I do for God? I want to live a life not of the ordinary, but one that speaks of God's testimony.

Today was unlike the other days in sch. Met a friend from Christian Fellowship, talked with someone who came to evangelise, stood near to a stranger by a computer who asked about Matt Redman over his phone on 'Blessed be Your Name'.

I wonder what significance there is in these happenings. It made me think further.. to contemplate on- my life.

I think about these people being proactive in their faith, wherever they are at. And when I looked within me, I feel that I don't match up. Not that I need to do whatever others are doing, but it is more like the contradiction I see in me. Being active in church- is it good enough? Perhaps it's me scared and afraid to step into something I struggle. Making friends - would it all be superficial and awkward? How about school? It doesn't help that I stay many stone throws away from school. Will I be able to cope? Will I be able to have sufficient rest?

Lord, what are You saying to me?

A fresh comeback after some time. I wonder how it has encouraged or spurred the world at large...

To start off, i have a thought- How does each of us so different in thoughts, perception and behaviour can live together? Isn't it just simply amazing that though we may rub against each other, and even can't stand a moment with another at times, we all need one another.

I was reading an article and it talked about the prisoners in the Eastern State prison. It was magnificent, castle-like in exterior and about 300 prisons took on this prison as a model to strive towards. It might have been a marvel of its time, but look within, it tells a different story. It wasn't the physical punishment that was the torture...it was the absolute isolation. It was perpetual darkness for these inhibitants, where only the walls could hear their echoes and cries. For those that were held in there for life, what agony could there be greater than to face darkness all alone?

It reminded me of how we are made for relationships, such that life is indeed one we can rejoice and be ever grateful for.

We have a God who is with us, He is Emmanuel. And He walks among us. Though we may be drowning, while trying to walk on water, Jesus comes forward and reaches out his hand to us.